Gratitude: A Deeper Dive
With Thanksgiving at the end of the month, gratitude is at the forefront of our thoughts and social media feeds. Studies have shown that when you take time to write down what you makes you happy and grateful you see improvements in your health: physically, mentally and emotionally. Being excited about gratitude and its benefits can be a great thing. Often grateful optimism gives us the power we need to start making changes. We can see the life we want to have and remain grateful for the opportunity to change.
The tricky part comes when the realities of our day-to-day sneak in. Perhaps you have set an optimistic goal to return to running before the cool fall weather turns to ice. As I sit here writing at the end of October, it is an unseasonable 19 degrees with snow still coming down, and no warm-up coming for at least another 3 days. That’s bound to put a cramp in the plans of even the most ardent of outdoor enthusiasts. Gratitude in this particular moment may feel a little out of reach. And that’s ok.
Pema Chödrön teaches that “feelings like disappointment, embarrassment, irritation, resentment, anger, jealousy, and fear…are actually very clear moments that teach us where it is that we’re holding back. They’re like messengers that tell us with terrifying clarity exactly where we’re stuck.” These emotions are important counterparts to feelings of gratitude, joy, and excitement. They teach us to value our actions and honor our decisions.
The frustration and anger of being sidelined in this fall storm can be illuminating. If you didn’t care about getting outside- you probably wouldn’t mind the snow. The value of running and how it relates to your health may be the backstory of the disappointment you’re feeling. Recognizing these feelings is honoring your motivations and your humanity.
Like all things in life, the goal is not to swing the pendulum to extremes. All gratitude all the time is known as Spiritual Bypassing. Skipping the grit and just looking at the sunny side of the street is tedious. You know you’ve been there when you share a stressful event to a friend, hoping for empathy and support, but receiving instead platitudes of “it will all work out.” Those responses miss the opportunity for human connection and growth.
Conversely, staying mired in the muck of disappointment, embarrassment and all their friends negates movement in your life. The science isn’t wrong. Optimism and hope have carried us as individuals and communities through some of our darkest times. Keeping it at the forefront of our minds certainly won’t go amiss.
So what better time of year to dive deeper into the Attitude of Gratitude? Unexpected weather, travel, and packed schedules will certainly show us where we are seeking growth. Can we not just find the light hidden in the darkness, but respect the darkness hidden in the light? We can use that edge highlight what we are grateful for in our everyday lives while not shying away from the discomfort that gives value to our goals.
Always in service,
Dr. Carly